Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Most common causes of divorce

Trouble with the in-laws, differences of opinion about having children, a cheating spouse, sexual problems and money are the major causes for divorce as cited by psychiatrists, divorce lawyers and related professionals.

We rank the most common symptoms of divorce, explaining why most marriages end up null and void.

Lack of commitment towards marriage, sexual incompatibility and infidelity

Whether infidelity is the result of deteriorating relations within marriage or a cause in itself remains the most common cause of divorce, occurring in more than half of failed marriages. A lack of commitment, philandering and infidelity contributes to distrust amongst partners and stems from resentment or anger with the other half and sexual boredom.

Lack of communication between spouses

A communication breakdown creates distance between partners. Growing differences between couples are the greatest contributors to ineffective communication ranging from personal and career goals to expectations about household tasks and finances. Interestingly enough, those who cohabit before marriage have higher rates of divorce than people who don’t as differences tend to become major focal points over the course of time, creating discontent and frustration with longstanding inconveniences.

Unmatched expectations cause rifts and personality conflicts amongst partners unwilling to compromise and is heightened when material needs are unfulfilled.

Physical, Emotional and Substance Abuse

Whether it’s a seemingly harmless verbal taunt or violent physical manhandling, abuse is a form of consistent negative reinforcement. An ultimate irreconcilable difference, Abuse provides definite grounds for divorce where either spouse is frequently abusive towards children or each other.

Alcohol addiction and substance abuse leads to drastic changes in the behavioural pattern of the addict. Often more than one can handle, the situation is compounded when both partners resort to using narcotics, adversely impacting on the mental, physical and emotional stability of the couple and ultimately ending in divorce.

Financial Issues

Economic strain and financial burdens is one of the most common reasons for the collapse of marriage. Disintegrating financial circumstances, incurred debts and disagreements over the allocation of money is sometimes all it takes enough to end an already aggravated marriage.

Why money is the leading cause of divorce

Money enables people to buy many things; unfortunately, it can't buy happiness, love or a lasting relationship. And surprisingly, money turns out to be the leading cause of today's divorces.

Fifty-seven percent of divorced couples in the United States cited financial problems as the primary reason for the demise of their marriage. according to a survey conductted by Citibank.

Financial incompatibility is one way of explaining the reason money is the primary cause of divorce, says Cheryl D. Broussard, a registered investment advisor and author of the book The Black Woman's Guide To Financial Independence: Smart Ways To Take Charge Of Your Money, Build Wealth, and Achieve Financial Security.

Financial compatibility "has a lot to do with how people are raised," cites Broussard, who is a principal of Broussard & Douglas, Inc., located in Palo Alto, CA. "Women want an equal partnership, but men want to take the lead if that's how they were raised."

The corrupting effect financial incompatibility has on a marriage is compounded when couples don't discuss their financial problems.

Broussard says, People aren't discussing finances. Money is such a taboo subject. People associate bad things with money. If you're in a serious relationship, talk about this. If you don't, it will cause a huge gap."

Bonnie Fitch, an attorney from Houston, TX, who is a former associate municipal court judge, says money may be the leading cause of divorce because some couples do not unite and work together when it comes to handling their household finances.