Thursday, May 12, 2011

Christian Match Making: 7 Questions Single Christian Women Need To Ask Single Christian Men

As a single Christian woman there are many questions you might have regarding your future, potential marriage, or dating life in general. By reading the Bible and knowing what standards God has set before us in regards to our Christian match, it makes it much easier. We don't have to re-invent the wheel. We just have to ask the right questions to make sure our potential spouses line up with the road map God has laid before us.

Not surprisingly, the bible has plenty to say about the attributes and personality of a Godly man. The first verse is found in Isaiah 66:2 "This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word." The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines humbleness as one who is not proud or haughty, arrogant or assertive. The definition of contrite is someone who feels or shows sorrow and remorse for a sin or weakness. The first series of questions you should ask should be, "Is the person I am dating, or considering dating, a man who is remorseful for his sins? Does he show arrogance and pride in his daily life and interactions with others? Does he show the same level of humbleness to a waitress as he does his boss?

Next is Proverbs 16:32 "Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city." We have all heard the saying "Patience is a virtue" but why should a single Christian woman look for this quality when dating. By definition patience is the condition of endurance in challenging situations, persevering in the face of provocation without acting in anger or annoyance in a negative way. Christian women should ask the following questions, "Does this man show signs of being quick to anger when he is under stress or something is going wrong in his day? Does he become irritable when he doesn't get his way? Does he become easily annoyed around small children or crying infants? Anyone can show patience when everything is perfect in their life but the true measure of patience is enduring and persevering when nothing is perfect in your life.

Thirdly 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 states "Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful" This verse is very straightforward in what is considered to be an example of true love. We have all heard the saying "Actions speak louder than words" and there is so much truth to that statement. A third set of questions single Christian women should be asking are "Does this person treat me kindly? Is this person jealous by nature and non-trusting of me? Does this person strive to meet my needs or are they only interested in meeting their needs? Do I feel respected when I am with this person?"

The fourth verse is from Philippians 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than you are. Humility is the state or quality of being humble. Therefore if the questions you asked with regard to humbleness raised doubts then it is unlikely you will find humility in such a person. It is important to ask the following questions, "Do they place work or any other selfish ambition before God or others in their life? Do they treat everyone they come in contact with the same or do they act as though they are better than some people?"

The fifth, sixth and seventh questions single Christian women should be asking of their potential Christian dating partners all fall into the category of morals, beliefs, and values. Why are these so important to a single Christian woman? These questions, if asked in a non-judgmental manner, can give you more insight into the heart of a man than almost any other information. The next question is as follows; "What are your views on pre-marital sex"? You would be amazed at how many Christian men feel some form of sexual intimacy before marriage is okay.

The sixth and seventh questions relate to basic values and morals in relation to marriage, infidelity, and other sexual matters. While these questions may be embarrassing to ask it is so important to find out where a potential partner stands on these issues. Do they believe that marriage should be until death do you part? Is divorce an option for them under any circumstances? What about infidelity? Does he believe there is ever a good reason to be unfaithful? Finally single Christian women should ensure that any potential dating partner is free from addictions of any kind to include alcohol, drugs, porn, and sex. By asking these questions you will ensure that you are truly finding that perfect Christian match that God has intended you to be with.

Christian Dating Site: Xtremely Beneficial For Orthodox Christian Singles

If you are an orthodox Christian and you consider Christianity a crucial pre requisite for a lifetime partnership with another person then Christian dating services will be beneficial for you. There has been an increase in the number of Christian dating sites that have emerged on the Internet due to the increase demand for Christian minded people to find a partner.

Online Christian dating is booming with popularity as more and more people are taking the advantage of saving time and money when it comes to meeting new people and developing a relationship. Presently Christian singles can get together in one place and find their perfect match easily that was earlier thought to be difficult because it is challenging to get to know a sufficient amount of eligible individuals people in small worship services and again, Christian singles in churches of larger size are often drowned at the wide array of people coming to the assembly. Even getting to know Christians from other worship services or even merely diverse faiths can be rare for many eligible Christians.

Besides the amount of time that it can save you; the biggest plus point is that the site aims specifically at Christians. Again to remind you that this Christian dating site provides services to those orthodox Christians who has the same ethics and beliefs, which is a great start to any relationship which is fairly hard to find for in the real world. A faith based online dating services are a great way to meet people in a fun, safe, atmosphere that is what Christian dating site provides its member. But these sites tend to have a lower membership count than many of the general dating sites because there are strict guidelines to be followed before one can become the member of this site. And truly this is performed to make the clientele more targeted so that you can be assured to meet people online carrying the similar lifestyle with solid values that you are interested in.

So if for you Christianity is an important aspect of your lifestyle then what could be better place than Christian dating sites that assure you to offers a safe environment and also makes it easier for shy who find difficult to make contact with others in offline dating situations, such as parties, clubs and so on. Interesting events such as dances, dinners and in some instances holidays or weekend travel are also arranged by many Christian dating sites to help people meet with one another in this safe environment.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Most common causes of divorce

Trouble with the in-laws, differences of opinion about having children, a cheating spouse, sexual problems and money are the major causes for divorce as cited by psychiatrists, divorce lawyers and related professionals.

We rank the most common symptoms of divorce, explaining why most marriages end up null and void.

Lack of commitment towards marriage, sexual incompatibility and infidelity

Whether infidelity is the result of deteriorating relations within marriage or a cause in itself remains the most common cause of divorce, occurring in more than half of failed marriages. A lack of commitment, philandering and infidelity contributes to distrust amongst partners and stems from resentment or anger with the other half and sexual boredom.

Lack of communication between spouses

A communication breakdown creates distance between partners. Growing differences between couples are the greatest contributors to ineffective communication ranging from personal and career goals to expectations about household tasks and finances. Interestingly enough, those who cohabit before marriage have higher rates of divorce than people who don’t as differences tend to become major focal points over the course of time, creating discontent and frustration with longstanding inconveniences.

Unmatched expectations cause rifts and personality conflicts amongst partners unwilling to compromise and is heightened when material needs are unfulfilled.

Physical, Emotional and Substance Abuse

Whether it’s a seemingly harmless verbal taunt or violent physical manhandling, abuse is a form of consistent negative reinforcement. An ultimate irreconcilable difference, Abuse provides definite grounds for divorce where either spouse is frequently abusive towards children or each other.

Alcohol addiction and substance abuse leads to drastic changes in the behavioural pattern of the addict. Often more than one can handle, the situation is compounded when both partners resort to using narcotics, adversely impacting on the mental, physical and emotional stability of the couple and ultimately ending in divorce.

Financial Issues

Economic strain and financial burdens is one of the most common reasons for the collapse of marriage. Disintegrating financial circumstances, incurred debts and disagreements over the allocation of money is sometimes all it takes enough to end an already aggravated marriage.

Why money is the leading cause of divorce

Money enables people to buy many things; unfortunately, it can't buy happiness, love or a lasting relationship. And surprisingly, money turns out to be the leading cause of today's divorces.

Fifty-seven percent of divorced couples in the United States cited financial problems as the primary reason for the demise of their marriage. according to a survey conductted by Citibank.

Financial incompatibility is one way of explaining the reason money is the primary cause of divorce, says Cheryl D. Broussard, a registered investment advisor and author of the book The Black Woman's Guide To Financial Independence: Smart Ways To Take Charge Of Your Money, Build Wealth, and Achieve Financial Security.

Financial compatibility "has a lot to do with how people are raised," cites Broussard, who is a principal of Broussard & Douglas, Inc., located in Palo Alto, CA. "Women want an equal partnership, but men want to take the lead if that's how they were raised."

The corrupting effect financial incompatibility has on a marriage is compounded when couples don't discuss their financial problems.

Broussard says, People aren't discussing finances. Money is such a taboo subject. People associate bad things with money. If you're in a serious relationship, talk about this. If you don't, it will cause a huge gap."

Bonnie Fitch, an attorney from Houston, TX, who is a former associate municipal court judge, says money may be the leading cause of divorce because some couples do not unite and work together when it comes to handling their household finances.

Friday, January 7, 2011

What Do Men Want in a Potential Wife - Solid Guidelines Every Woman Out There Must Follow

Men have different expectations and look for varied number of things while thinking of a life partner. Most men like a woman who is a total package, someone with looks, intellect, a career and a super mom material. Though the initial criteria could be a good looking woman, they do look for things far deeper.
Emotionally stable and positive person
Men prefer woman with a positive attitude towards life and one that has cheerful and a happy personality. They feel that a woman's temperament has an influence on the house and if she radiates warmth and positive energy, the house has an energized atmosphere. On the other hand if she is sad or a depressing person it spreads negative energy in the house.
A confident woman
In modern times men are essentially drawn to woman who are self assured and can take care of themselves in the competitive world. Whether it is at home or at the work place, they would like the woman who can deal with the challenges effectively and calmly.
Someone with mental compatibility
One of the attributes men consider in a woman is whether or not she is on the same plane mentally. They would like their wife to be aware of current issues and with whom they can hold intelligent and stimulating conversation.
A career woman
A big plus point for men is when the woman is career oriented. Whether or not she can contribute financially to build their life together, someone who can share the burden is also important. In today's demanding world a woman with a focus and goals is an attractive proposition.
A woman with beauty
Men are first attracted to the physical beauty before they get to know their woman better. That, they want a good looking women for their wife is a no brainer, each man has his own expectations of what they like in their woman.
A woman's motherly instincts
Dating helps to know and understand each other better and men who are interested in long term relationship are looking for the feminine traits in their woman who can be a good mother to their children. Motherliness is a trait all men would like to see in a woman.
Woman's spiritual side is a big plus
Many men are drawn to women who are devout and have belief and respect for the omnipresent God. It gives them the strength of character and makes them stable and balanced person. Men believe that it makes them a better person too when they have a wife who is a believer.

The Power of True Love

A marriage is not possible without love or even if there is, the marriage will not last long. This has been a common case to individuals vowed by their parents and not by their own accord. It is really a different thing when the parents get in the way and decide for you. It may be hard for the parents to accept it, but you should decide on your own. You should choose the one you love so you must be brave to tell your parents your feelings because if not, you will end up being committed to a person you don't even love. It is not the parents that will suffer in this situation but it is you.
Trust is a key factor in having a successful married life. A relationship without this factor is nothing but trash. Arguments will occur often when a couple do not trust each other. It is because you will always doubt that your partner is not being faithful to you. In order for a couple to gain trust with each other, they should have communication. Allotting a certain amount of time for you to talk about your everyday experiences is a good exercise to gain trust to each other. You should also talk about problems you are facing in order for you to be able to materialize a solution for the problem.Not only will you gain trust but you will also understand each other. Communication can lead to knowing each others similarities and differences and also your weaknesses and strengths. Knowing all of these, you can help each other overcome your weaknesses and cope with your differences.
The best factor that affects good relationship is love. To think that even divorced people can still be reconciled, love is really very powerful. Love should be present in order to have a good and successful relationship. It is because if you really love a person, you will face even the strongest hurricanes just to be with the person you love. A marriage is said to be successful when love is in the midst of the two people involved. No matter what trials they face, still they stand firm and do not falter.
The power of love can really conquer anything. No matter what trials you will have to face, as long as there is love in your midst, they will be nothing but a piece of cake. A strong relationship is composed of good communication, trust to each other, and love. If you love a person very much and the feeling is mutual, only then can you trust. You can communicate with someone without loving her but it won't be that effective in a relationship. Everything can be ruined when even one of these factors is not present.
True love is really a powerful tool in maintaining a good relationship. Add it with trust and communication and everything will work out just fine.

Learn To Communicate Better With Your Partner - Learn To Listen More Effectively

Have you ever been talking to someone about something important to you and realized they were not listening to a thing you had said? That really stinks and I am sure we have all experienced that at some point. American Law expert and founder John Marshall once said "To listen well is as powerful a means of communication and influence as to speak well.
One of the biggest problems in relationships is that people have stopped listening to one another.
Unfortunately for most people they have forgotten they were given two ears and only one mouth, they like to speak much more than they like to listen. Listening is the most overlooked part of the communication process. So how can you become a better listener:
Give your partner your undivided attention. Put aside your text messages, books, and other distractions and focus on what the other person is saying. It has been shown in studies that people who "multi-task" actually have a net loss. What I mean is that the brain can only work on one thing at a time and with multi-tasking it is just jumping between the things rapidly. When you focus on one thing, for instance someone who is speaking to you, and save the other things for later you get more efficient use of your brain's power.

When you become a better listener you become better at your relationship. Especially the relationship that matters most which is the one with the partner that you love the most.