20 Key Ideas For a Happy Marriage

1. Keep your mind on your main goal, which is to have a happy marriage. Say and do what will enable you and your spouse to have a happy marriage. Avoid the opposite. Everything else is commentary.

2. Keep asking yourselves, What can we do to have a happy, loving atmosphere in our home?

3. Focus on giving, rather than taking. Say and do as many things as possible to meet your spouses needs.

4. Keep doing and saying things that will give your spouse a sense of importance.

5. Frequently ask yourself, What positive things can I say and do to put my (husband or wife) in a positive emotional state?

6. Before speaking, clarify the outcome you want. The meaning of your communication is the response you actually get. If the first thing you say is not achieving your goal, change your approach. Remember that mutual respect and happiness is your real goal. Do not needlessly argue. Silence is often the wisest choice. Constantly be mutually respectful.

7. Show appreciation and gratitude in as many ways as possible. Say something appreciative a few times a day.

8. Be a good listener. Understand your spouse from his or her point of view.

9. Be considerate of the feelings and needs of your spouse. Think of ways that you have lacked consideration and be resolved to increase your level of consideration.

10. Instead of blaming and complaining think of positive ways to motivate your spouse. If your first strategies are not effective, think of creative ways.

11. Give up unrealistic expectations. Do not expect your spouse to be perfect and do not make comparisons.

12. Do not cause pain with words. If your spouse speaks to you in ways that cause you pain, choose outcome wording, Lets speak to each other in ways that are mutually respectful.

13. Be willing to compromise. Be willing to do something you would rather not do in return for similar behavior from your spouse.

14. Write a list of ways that you have benefited from being married to your spouse. Keep adding to the list and reread it frequently.

15. Write a list of your spouses positive patterns and qualities. Keep adding to the list and read it frequently.

16. Keep thinking about what you can do to bring out the best qualities of your spouse. Reinforce those qualities with words and action.

17. Focus on finding solutions to any problems that arise. Be solution oriented. Do not just blame and complain. Do not focus on who is more wrong. For a happy marriage, work together to find mutually acceptable solutions.

18. Remember your finest moments. What did you say and do when you felt best about each other? Increase them.

19. Look for positive activities you can do together.

20. Live in the present. What went wrong in the past is the past. You create the present and future with your thoughts, words, and actions right now. Choose them wisely.

FIVE TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS DEFINED

Not every relationship can be defined the same way. It's important to give both you and your man the clarity and peace of mind to know where you stand with one another. Use the following scenarios as a guide into defining your specific type of relationship.

The Fling
Not everyone opts to be in a committed relationship so, instead, may go for a fling. Love coach Jann Warner describes a fling as "a brief period or occasion characterised by unrestrained, impulsive or extravagant behaviour". This type of relationship is characterised by a lack of commitment and one or a few casual encounters. Defining this relationship is important, so no one expects more from the fling than they should and no feelings (which shouldn't be involved anyway) are hurt.

The Friend
According to Warner, a good friend is the one who steps in to comfort you after a break-up and curls up on the couch with you while you consume copious amounts of coffee and watch a good pick-me-up movie. Everybody needs a close male friend, but no one needs one who is confused about his role. Because of the closeness you share with a friend, it's easy for him to mistake this platonic relationship with something more. Warner describes a friendship to be "a mutually beneficial relationship marked by affection, goodwill, closeness, companionship, intimacy, comradeship, love and fondness", so it's easy to see where one can be confused. Make sure your friend understands that you want nothing more than his companionship on a strictly non-sexual basis.

The Crush
You've just met someone and it's fireworks, magic and butterflies. You spend most of your time gushing about him and singing his praises to your girls and you can't concentrate without his face popping into your mind. You definitely have a crush, which Warner describes as a "temporary infatuation or fixation". Nurture this kind of relationship and maybe you can watch it blossom into much more.

The Lust
"You see him, you want him and you pursue him with only one thought in mind," says Warner. Sometimes confusion can set in when sex is introduced to the equation. Mind-blowing sex definitely doesn't always mean love. In fact, in most instances, you just have the two confused because of the physical bond you share. If you crave to see your man all the time, it might not be love, but nature calling you to satisfy your sexual needs.

The True Love
It's different for everyone, but the feeling of true love is great and almost indescribable. If you've been in a long-term relationship and simply can't imagine a life sans your man, it may be the real deal. "Love is any number of emotions related to a sense of strong affection and attachment," says Warner. Don't be too hasty to find or admit love, in case you scare him away - but when it's there, you'll both know it.

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Does Online Dating Work?

Dating Online is currently the Internet's biggest craze, and its here to stay! But does it actually work?

I mean, there are tons of Dating websites, but their success with matchmaking is kept rather low key, and I found out why.

When I was searching for Online dating websites, I felt that I couldn't trust many of the companies and that they were just trying to get money out of me. After many hours of research I was exhausted by the idea of Online Dating, it just seemed more hassle than what it was worth, but I was determined to see it through.

A lot of websites that I researched were either free or had rock bottom membership fees, and I found that these were the worst to go to, bar a few exceptions. Eventually I found a handful of websites that I could trust and were worth the money that they were charging, but it just took so long to find these trust-worthy sites.

So I signed up and begrudgingly paid the membership fee. One of the most important aspects I learnt early on is that your personal profile that you place on the dating website should be immaculate! By this I mean spend time modifying and perfecting your profile, as this is what counts the most! The last thing you want is to be receiving messages from other adults who are just not right for you, its better to make contact with another adult who is very similar to yourself, than to make contact with 10 adults who only share a few similarities.

Eventually I started meeting other people who were very compatible to myself, and as a result have made 2 great friends who are now a major part in my life and have been going out with my long-term girlfriend for over a year (I'm planning a trip to New York at Christmas, so that I can propose to her!)

Online Dating has worked wonders for me, even though it's taken time to get their, and I Strongly believe that if you spent time looking for the right Dating website, that's suits you and your needs then you will also have similar success. This thought gave me a brainwave.

I thought how great it would be if there was a website that had a list of all the best Dating websites, that listed these trustworthy companies, so that the biggest hassle is taken away and you can start meeting and communicating with other adults, without having to waste time looking for the best companies. So that's what I did. I designed a website that was split into sections for American Singles, Gay personals, Jewish Singles and Christian Dating, with the best dating websites for each category.

It is full of information about Online Dating, with reviews of every Dating website and loads of interesting, related articles. There is also help on the best way of writing your personal profile.

Best of luck!!

Christian Singles: Questions To Keep Your Spirit Alive

With special events like Valentine's Day coming and going each year, I am reminded how difficult it can be to retain your spirit of who you are when you're a Christian single.

It just sometimes feels like it would be easier to mold yourself into whatever your dating partners want, and then you can get on with living happily ever after.

Become what other people want you to be, date non Christians, etc.

I was recently reminded of this when I met up with a friend for coffee. As energetic, bubby, positive, social, million-miles an hour type of Christian girl, she was telling me about her new boyfriend. They had moved in together, he didn't like to socialize, he was quiet and reserved, and all they did was watch TV.

They didn't even put up a Christmas tree or lights this past holiday season, because he thought it was all a waste of time. This from my friend who usually wears a Santa hat for the entire month of December.

As we chatted, she kept justifying all of the things that they obviously didn't have in common. I then noticed her usually dancing eyes had lost their shine.

How sad, I thought. Why had she given up on her spirit?

During my many years of single life, I attended a workshop where one of the exercises was to write done all of the things that we were looking for in a partner. But in order to do that, we first had to write down all of the things that defined us as people.

This prompted an amazing series of Soul searching questions.

1. What did I believe in?

2. What role did God play in my life?

3. What were my values?

4. What was important to me?

5. On career, did I work to live, or live to work?

6. What did I do for fun?

7. What hobbies did I have?

8. What offended me?

9. What did I consider to be right and wrong, moral and immoral, ethical and unethical?

10. What were my politics?

11. What were my dreams?

12. What goals did I have?

13. What about my family and the desire for more kids?

14. What charities and causes did I support?

By defining what I wanted in another person, I was first clarifying and refining my own self image and my own spirit.

I developed a vision of my Christian singles partner, based on my own definition of what my spirit was (as opposed to the other way around).

I became more and more committed to sustaining my spirit while searching for a partner. As it turned out, when my spirit was challenged by some of the people I dated (if they weren't Christian or if we clashed on any of the answers to the questions above), I had the confidence and inner conviction to politely say good-bye and move onto the next person.

It still took me a long time to find the right person (or rather, she found me). I still had to suffer through a few more Valentine's Days, which always reminded me of my singleness. Yet, I came to realize that it had never been more important to know what I stood for.

You too can do the same. Answer those questions above and understand what you stand for.

Then you can continue your search for like-minded people. The Internet and website personals speeds that whole process up for you, letting you refine your search by specific age ranges, kids or not, divorced or not, white, black, location, income level, career path, values, etc.

Your spirit will truly sing when you start getting to know like-minded people.

ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP, CHECK OUT THESE PRAYERS

Now to the 19 prayer points to release your
God-ordained partner from evil spiritual cage ...

Begin with praise and worship ...

1 Holy Spirit, overshadow this relationship

2 Let the spirit of love and understanding prevail between us in the name of Jesus

3 O Lord, reveal to me every secret I need to know concerning this relationship in the name of Jesus

4 I command every spirit of division to depart from my relationship in the name of Jesus

5 You spirit of Egypt, release my ... (mention the name) in the name of Jesus

6 Let all family cages holding my ... (mention the name) be destroyed by the fire of God in Jesus' name

7 Lord Jesus, wash away every anti-marriage stamp, label and links from with your blood

8 Let every ungodly family interference be cut off completely in the mighty name of Jesus

9 Let all anti-marriage yokes break in the name of Jesus

10 Let all the effects of evil spiritual wedding rings, clothes and shoes be completely removed in Jesus' name

11 Let any veil of hatred against me in the heart of ... (mention the name) be destroyed in the name of Jesus

12 Let any wicked spirit polluting the heart of my ... against me receive the stones of fire, in the name of Jesus

13 O Lord, put the love for me back in the heart of ...

14 Let the joy of the enemy over my relationship be converted to sorrow in the name of Jesus

15 You ... (mention the name), you will not follow the evil patterns of any parent or ancestors in Jesus' name

16 I bind all activities of spirits from the air, water, land and family idols, and I forbid them from interfering in my relationship from today in Jesus' name

17 Let all activities contrary to my successful marriage be paralyzed in the name of Jesus

18 Let all spirits of fear, depression, worry and despair release me now in the mighty name of Jesus

19 Thank you LORD for answering my prayers in Jesus' name

ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP, CHECK OUT THESE PRAYERS

Now to the 19 prayer points to release your
God-ordained partner from evil spiritual cage ...

Begin with praise and worship ...

1 Holy Spirit, overshadow this relationship

2 Let the spirit of love and understanding prevail between us in the name of Jesus

3 O Lord, reveal to me every secret I need to know concerning this relationship in the name of Jesus

4 I command every spirit of division to depart from my relationship in the name of Jesus

5 You spirit of Egypt, release my ... (mention the name) in the name of Jesus

6 Let all family cages holding my ... (mention the name) be destroyed by the fire of God in Jesus' name

7 Lord Jesus, wash away every anti-marriage stamp, label and links from with your blood

8 Let every ungodly family interference be cut off completely in the mighty name of Jesus

9 Let all anti-marriage yokes break in the name of Jesus

10 Let all the effects of evil spiritual wedding rings, clothes and shoes be completely removed in Jesus' name

11 Let any veil of hatred against me in the heart of ... (mention the name) be destroyed in the name of Jesus

12 Let any wicked spirit polluting the heart of my ... against me receive the stones of fire, in the name of Jesus

13 O Lord, put the love for me back in the heart of ...

14 Let the joy of the enemy over my relationship be converted to sorrow in the name of Jesus

15 You ... (mention the name), you will not follow the evil patterns of any parent or ancestors in Jesus' name

16 I bind all activities of spirits from the air, water, land and family idols, and I forbid them from interfering in my relationship from today in Jesus' name

17 Let all activities contrary to my successful marriage be paralyzed in the name of Jesus

18 Let all spirits of fear, depression, worry and despair release me now in the mighty name of Jesus

19 Thank you LORD for answering my prayers in Jesus' name